Moving Again – Relationship difficulties – Are they related?

Moving around the Country or the Globe may sound exciting but is it really?  Many people chase work around the country or across the globe for various reasons.  Sometimes it is just where the work is and sometimes it is the opportunity to broaden one’s horizons and sometimes it is a way of trying to “escape”.  Working away from home can sometimes be a positive experience but sometimes if you take home with you it can lead to lots of issues for years to come.  For instance some couples with young families move around the globe and it is only later in life when couples begin to nest or the “children” leave home that the real cracks can appear.

 “Third Culture Kids” is the name given to such children who have had no choice but to move countless number of times with their parents.  This doesn’t let them settle anywhere.  Frequently they have to leave friends and familiar places to “start over” again.  Sometimes they are sent away to boarding school which may seem to provide some stability.  However being sent to an unfamiliar place without even the support of their family or siblings means that they are usually very homesick and have a really hard time trying to fit in.  They may also be excluded and bullied because they have modelled themselves on the various cultures they have previously been on the fringe of.

People who have lived this sort of transient life often have no real sense of who they are.  Relationships and connecting with others is really difficult because they are always waiting to say  goodbye so they arrange things so that their relationships constantly breakdown either because they are so emotionally disconnected or because they are so hungry for a long term relationship that they make relationships with inappropriate people and cling on for dear life in their desire for a meaningful relationship.

 Simply understanding this can provide the “light bulb moment” and allow things to change and sometimes it needs a little bit of help to make those changes.  Discovering more about yourself can be scary but it is also liberating and leads to happier relationships, not only with others but also with yourself.