Easter is about forgiveness – isn’t it?

For some forgiveness is easy but for others it is not.   Abuse, neglect, abandonment, cruetly etc. etc, especially if they happen to a vulnerable child are sometimes hard to overcome.

But arn’t we meant to fogive these actions in order to get on with our lives?

I would suggest that sometimes it is just not possible to forgive – the hurt runs too deep.  However it is possible to accept that it happened. Accept that it was unfair.  Accept that maybe – just maybe – the perpretrator of the hurt was doing the best they could at that time.  Maybe it wasn’t good enough and it sure wasn’t right but is it worth carrying someone else’s baggage around for the rest of your life.    By accepting the past as having happened and by drawing a distinction between the past, that may have been out of your control and the present and future which is, you can be free to enjoy your life.

But to draw this line do you really have to forgive? 

Everyone has their own view based on their own moral compass.  Mine would be that you can’t change the past but you can make a peace with it and change the future.  Making a peace is different for actually forgiving it is just an acknowledgement that the here and now matters more than the past.

How can you ‘draw the line’?

By acknowledging the hurt as real.  For grieving for the loss the hurt took from you – be it your childhood, your confidence, your family and then accepting it as being in the past and therefore no longer in your control.  What is in your control is the here and now and the future.  What future you have all depends on the decisions you make.  You have the freedom and the choice to stay stuck or you can move on with your life.  Your future belongs to you.