Confidence and the Internal chatterbox

Having confidence or not all boils down to which of our internal chatterboxes wins.  We have the negative one that say, “oh no – it’s going to be awful”  “Everyone will think/does think I am stupid” etc. etc.  but unless we all have some psychic ability how do we actually know what others think.    Ah ha!  I hear your internal chatterbox say.  “It is the Look! – I Know they think I am useless at this”  Again I would challenger your internal dialogue.  Psychic abilities are well known but few of us have them so all it is usually is a matter of our thoughts.    Most people will have a view. Most two peoples’ view will be different so there is no way we can really have everyone’s approval.  And anyway do we actually need it to have confidence? In fact  isn’t it a bit of an arrogance when we continually have to check what others are thinking about what we have said or done to feel good about ourselves?

Those with  true self-confidence  forget about themselves and their internal chatterbox and just be.  Of course though we are all human and even the most seemingly confident people struggle with some scenarios on occasion.  However I have it on good authority that they just fake it for a few moments and then once they relax into the task they find they arn’t actually faking it anymore.    It is just our imagination colluding with our internal chatterbox which causes us to have uncertainty.  We imagine it all going wrong and we rehearse this in our minds.  So when it comes to the real situation we forget that it is the real thing and play out the scene that we had before that it will all go wrong.    But if if doesn’t go exactly as you hoped it would, if you are just yourself, it truely won’t matter.  The intention and the spirit will come across.

So the way to be self-confidence is to have confidence in yourself and just be!  Kick your internal chatterbox into touch and tell it you won’t think about the situation until it arrives so you will not get nervous and then just deal with the situation as it arises.  That way you will have no time to have created a rehearsed scenario.    Imagine you are doing something that you are confident in and just use that feeling.  After all it is all just in our minds and  as John Milton said “The mind is a place of its own and can make a hell of heaven and a heaven of hell”.